They were on the way, going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus went ahead of them.

They were amazed, and those who followed were afraid.

-Mark 10:32-

The standard emotions for God were being Amazed and Afraid, so in a way Mark is saying something indirectly profound here that a 1st century reader would immediately pick up on.  He is saying in Jesus’ person is the Living God. The Messiah. God himself And just as the first followers of Jesus, when we encounter God on a deeper level, we are drawn by God and behold his beauty or fascination of God, they instinctively fall prostrate in fear and need to be reassured by God.

When the disciples heard this, they fell prostrate and were very much afraid. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Rise, and do not be afraid.”

-Matthew 17-

So as we grow in faith, fear can show up in a variety of ways strangely. When you realize your reliance on God and you’re a finite being, this fear can show up sometimes as anxiety. In fact, one thing worth noting, when that phrase, Do Not Be Afraid, is said in the bible, the person delivering the message never waits for the person to calm their fear, they are expected to meet it head on and follow the instructions given, fear or not. So you might also be afraid at times, and I think it is good to talk about what that means. Before I go further, let me be clear: I’m not a licensed therapist. If anxiety is serious, get professional help. But I want to share something personal.

When I was younger, I played college football in front of nearly 100,000 people. If you asked me to speak five minutes before a crowd, I’d probably say, “Sure, let’s do it.” That kind of thing energized me. It didn’t make me nervous…ever.  And I don’t say that to sound arrogant I say it because later, almost in an instant, something changed.

Years later, as I tried to live my faith more deeply as a husband and father, I began feeling physical chest pain, sometimes down my arm. I went to a Doctor and they rightly weren’t sure what was the cause. I was referred to a heart specialist. That made me even more nervous, as the appointment was a month out, so of course I googled the potential causes, and tried to confirm the answers for myself. Bad idea. 

At the same time, I had a new 2nd child, responsibilities at my parish, and career pressures. Suddenly, I was paralyzed by anxiety. I wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating well, and everything felt heavy. I don’t have a perfect solution, but I learned some things going through that experience:

First, I am not in control. Much of my anxiety came from trying to live in the future. One way you do this is you are fearful of the next bout with anxiety, that is a form of living in the future. Focusing on the present moment helped a lot. Prayer helped. Second, anxiety has physical effects. Those chest pains? They weren’t a heart problem, they were my body reacting to fear. Recognizing that was incredibly freeing. Finally, while anxiety has spiritual roots, it also has practical solutions: get sleep (as best you can), continue to eat, try to eat the right things at that. We are body and soul.

In moments when living faithfully begins to stir anxiety within us Jacques Philippe in Searching for and Maintaining Peace offers a simple but profound path forward. He reminds us that peace is not something we manufacture, but something we receive. Our task is not to control every outcome or quiet every fear by force, but to gently place our trust back in God, again and again. Even when our hearts feel unsettled, we can choose small acts of abandonment, letting go of the need to manage everything, and instead resting in the quiet confidence that God is at work. For Philippe, the real battle is not against anxiety itself, but against the loss of trust. And so, the way through is not striving harder, but surrendering deeper.

Going through anxiety makes you understand so many human moments of fear in the Bible through a different lens. While the apostles witnessed countless Miracles, I bet those were some long nights deciding their next step after Jesus was no longer there to lead. Or hearing the verse “and she kept all these things in her heart” regarding Mary makes you wonder how difficult it was for her seeing her son’s mission unfold.  So, this is a pause or a warning, sometimes, taking faith seriously can make us scrupulous, over sensitive to every mistake, striving for perfection God never asked for, and not being able to forgive yourself. G. K. Chesterton said: “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.”

Holiness isn’t constant tension and fear of mistakes. It is not robotic. It’s humility. It’s laughter. It’s trusting God even when we stumble. So yes, take your faith seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. And Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is doing what is right when you are fearful. It is moving forward with that fear. 

To have Courage for whatever comes in life - everything lies in that

St. Teresa of Avila